Thursday, 3 March 2011

Laser beam eyes are the best kind of eyes

Laser beam eyes, death stare, evil eye. Whatever you call them I'm sure you've all applied it in your day-to-day lives.
And never have I had more urges to use my laser beams than in London.

The tube, walking down the street or waiting in a line are all prime opportunities for me to will people to burst into flame.

"This train is full why can't you wait for the next one instead of stabbing me in the back with your stupid book?" LASER!

"That's okay, why should you and your six friends even think of moving out of the way I love walking into oncoming traffic!" LASER!

If things get really serious you can always employ the turn and stare laser beam for a truly frightening effect.

I had cause to break out the beams on Tuesday night during after work drinks and burgers with a group of friends at Big Chill House, Kings Cross. 

There were eight of us at the busy, but not packed, bar/restaurant and while there was room at the bar we were struggling to get a table. 

So a couple decide they deserved to have a whole eight-seater table to themselves. To make things worse they spent half the night leaving their drinks on the table and wondering out for cigarettes.

They must have had incredibly thick skin, because no amount of laser eyes could make them move or even get the hint.

Rant over.

At least the burgers were great.

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